Innocence: An account from the field

INNOCENCE May 23, 2007

Aziz was driving me back from the passport office. The traffic was heavy as always and the intersection we approached was loaded with cars. Thus, the traffic flow was slightly stop and go until we got through the intersection.

Beggars abound in many parts of Kabul city, especially at busy intersections. Usually the beggars are old men or women who do not look capable of working. Some of the men will be missing a leg due to a mine accident or something.Unfortunately, sometimes the beggars are children. Often they will be young enough so that they can not really get real jobs. Sometimes they will have a few packets of gum that they try to sell. More often they will have a dirty rag which they will use to try and clean car windows. They usually don't ask if you want your windows cleaned but will just start doing the task in the hope that you will feel pity and pay them something.

As we were waiting for the line of cars to move again, a young girl came up to Aziz's window with her dirty rag. She was perhaps 7 or 8 years old at best and was dressed in brown garments. She appeared to be a little dirty but still had a pretty face. She asked for money just as the line of cars began to move. As Aziz drove farther up, she ran with the car and was persistent with her request. All beggars here are persistent. Some even become down right rude and will tap your window repetitively as if being annoying will help them get money. Some people say Kabul has a 40% unemployment rate. Whether that is true or not, it is clear that there are so many beggars in Kabul that you can't give money to all of them even if you wanted to. Sometimes I give out some small amount of money and sometimes I do not. If I have 5 Afs (10 cents) change in my pocket, I will usually give it to someone. Most are happy to receive whatever you will give. Nobody seems to give beggars more than 20 Afs (40 cents), and it seems to me that people are quite pleased to receive either 10 or 20 Afs since both of these denominations come in paper bills and because one piece of nan (bread) only costs 6 Afs here.

I can't remember why Aziz had his window open, but because he did, he exchanged a few words with the girl. He probably told her to "go away" since that is a common thing he will say to beggars for me without me asking him to. As our car kept moving toward the intersection, the girl kept moving with us. I was wearing what I usually wear in public, my Afghan showakamis clothing, scarf, and white muslim hat. I have been told on numerous occasions by Afghans and foreigners alike that I really do look like a Talib. Talibs are essentially students of the mosque. At one point, the little girl pleaded in Dari, "Please Mullah, give me some money!" A Mullah is what a Talib becomes after he graduates. Aziz and I both thought it funny that she called me that, and I thought it was quite a compliment. Aziz told her I was a Mullah from America. As we smiled and laughed a bit so did she. I remember how nice it was to see her smile. Most beggars give off a miserable air as they probably don't want to be begging. I don't think knocking on car windows all day in the sun and navigating the dust and exhaust swirls of cars is very much fun. As such, I never see beggars smile. But for a moment, this girl was a girl and not a beggar. It felt as though her spirit had not yet been crushed by the depressing reality of what she was doing. She was just a girl smiling about the funny things she and then Aziz had said.

I told Aziz to ask her why she wasn't in school, but he didn't actually get around to asking her that. The whole incident happened so fast that we were flying through the intersection before I could give her any money. If I had more time, I probably would have just because of what she said.

The following day, or maybe it was two days later, we were driving back from the same passport office. Aziz was driving, my boss was in the driver-side seat, and I sat in the back seat behind Aziz. As we got near the same intersection, we passed a man begging and shortly there after we drove past the girl who was with a burka covered woman. As we passed, I turned in my seat to look back at the girl as I had recognized her. She saw me too and smiled as she pointed our car out to the woman. The traffic at the intersection was not too heavy, but Aziz still had to stop briefly. I got out my wallet as the girl was running up to our car. The man came too, and as I tried to give a 10 Afs note to the girl through my slightly open window, he took it. I have to say that the man was exactly what a Kabul beggar in my mind looks like. I don't remember any noticeable expression on his face and he took my money without saying a word to me. He just does not stand out in my mind in any way. However the girl is different for me. After the man took my money, I immediately got out another 10 Afs to give directly to her. I think she knew I was going to give her money this time.

As soon as she took my money, we were moving again. It is amazing how fast the whole incident took place. Now, as I reflect on it, I wish I had taken more time to observe both the girl and the man. I could have said something to her too, even if it was in English. I didn't even turn around in my seat to see what she did as we drove off. My boss did though and commented that she was smiling and hugging the burka covered woman. My boss hypothesized that the man and woman were probably the girl's parents.

I caught a glimpse of something great in the face of that little girl the first time she asked us for money. I think it may have been the innocence of a child. One of her parents obviously instructed her to go out begging for money, and in her parents' defense, it may truly be the only option available to the family right now. I want to do more for that girl than just giving her 10 Afs. I want to help keep her innocent. I want to take her off the street and put her into a program where she can go to school in the morning like other kids. I want her to be in a program that also teaches her practical skills in the afternoon. Maybe she could learn how to weave Afghan carpets or compose other crafts that might allow her to earn some steady income for her family. She is young, but she obviously comes from a family where everyone needs to help earn money. But, begging is not the way, and I know it. I also know that there probably is no program like the one I want to take her to. She has few, if any, options.

The little girl is the kind of person I want to help. She is the reason I joined the Peace Corps after college. She is the reason I diligently searched for international development employment after my Peace Corps job was over. She is the reason I am in Afghanistan right now. Someday, I hope I can really help her.

Read more about the work SFL does in Afghanistan at Where We Serve: Afghanistan pages.